I have heard it said that life is like a Merry-Go-Round and often times people cry out that they want to get off.

Well, it does feel like progress in life often appears to result in null.  Do I not learn from the past? Do friends and family not grow and change?  People become older and appear to change.

Years ago I wished my best friend well as she ventured off to live in Australia.  I wondered if I would see her again.  I did and actually lived with her for a short while.  Just last weekend, I bid her good-bye again.  It seems like I just got here and off she goes on another adventure.  We barely spent any time together putting things off for perfect weather and such.  What were we thinking?  I am hopeful we will reconnect and make better use of our proximity to one another.

I pined away for my husband to sell our house and move down here to be with me.  Now that he is here and employed, I doze off on the sofa during the end of the news each night barely exchanging words before he wakes me up to tell me it is time to go to bed.

I feel that I have created a pattern of existence, sort of like washing dishes.  You wash them and dirty them.  It does not end, there is nothing spectacular about the beginning or end of the task.  I don't celebrate when I scrub out a dried spaghetti noodle.  There is no pomp and circumstance for squeaky tupperware.  It all gets done in a timely manner and starts all over again.  I do enjoy eating on clean dishes.  Maybe I need to take a moment each day and reflect and be grateful.  I have warm water and soap in which to clean these dishes and food in which to dirty them.

Am I wrong to expect more from life?  Am I greedy?  Am I too lazy or afraid to leap from the Merry-Go-Round?  I felt like I have leaped from the horses many times in the past only to return post haste.  Am I waiting for the music to stop, looking for a sign?  Maybe paper plates.